Thursday, October 25, 2012

People ask about my tattoo down my spine. I was eighteen and getting a tattoo that meant something to me. Sadly, it happened to be for my first love.  So here is my story of it. I wrote this in 2008. Enjoy.

Forever isn't quite what they thought.
Rewardful and meaningless.
The point of "forever" is forever.
No matter what, that's what they said.
Now she would think and go over the last five years but that'd be wasteful.
He would be blind to the obvious, to what was in front of him.
Unlike all the others, they didn't need to see, touch, smell, or hear.
Just knowing they were there for each other was enough.
Enough to hold on to, enough to live off of.
Goodbyes are dangerous, they kill.
They tear her, all of what she felt and cared for was gone.
He was gone, to the military you'd guess, but no, to life, the girl, and all he needs.
Miles divide; they figured nothing could stop them and their hearts finally beating as one.
What they never knew was while miles divide they conquered.
Five years passed, but miles attack.
Stab, punch, pull, kick, and that last moment, the last, the end of five years was the final "bang" from the gun.
They lived, loved, push, shoved, tore, built, gave, hoped, fought, cried, and laughed.
Miles kept dividing the whole time.
Bits of there hearts shattered; poured into the ground.
But always had enough for one another.
Miles pushed.
Distance was starting to get to them.
They lived their lives, school, friends, and family.
Met people, but still loved.
He kept her living all this time.
She lived for him, and only.
He made her love her life, and feel hopeful of the future.
"Just to see you smile" isn't just a song; it's a meaning, it's a truth to all life for them.
The life that would be the start of something good.
"I'd do anything that you wanted me to" and that's the evidence in the truth.
"I swear" isn't there anymore, she thinks.
Ponders the meaningful lyrics to what used to mean the world.
He gave her all she wanted.
But those names he once said in spite of anger will remain for all time.
She thinks that possibly is the reason they can never be together again.
Using everything she trusted in him, turning everything she opened up to him against her.
That's always going to sit heavily in her head.
It's kind of like a divorce they never wanted.
He asked her to marry him; honestly it had been the easiest "yes" ever.
Possibly the death of her, but it was the making of life.
The house they wanted, kids they wanted, and everlasting happiness.
Watching it crash like waves in the ocean, or planes crashing in hate.
Popcorn will forever remain the funniest food they will ever come across.
Bay-be will always be the corniest word that has ever entered their vocabulary.
Tigers will never look the same; simulating the very "member" she wanted.
First kiss will only be a lost fantasy that will never be brought to life.
Memories... sadly memories fade, fade into dust like in the Arizona desert, or the Savannah beach.
Southern accents will never sound so cute.
Big hair will go out of style.
Jackass will never be funny/annoying/cute/lame all at the same time.
A boy/man crying will never heartbreaking again.
No one will ever understand them the way they understood each other.
No one will get why they can laugh at lame things, or cry at a simple 'I love you".
Late night phone calls will never be worth it.
"It was never over" was a line from The Notebook that said it all through the years.
Cave woman "it be mine" ha.
Now, they owe nothing to each other.
Just life, they owe each other life.
But will they ever fully be "free" from one another?
Men are fools. Women are no where near better.
Not even love can save this.
Survival. Survival. Survival.
It's not enough to say I'm sorry anymore.
All they have to say its goodbye, right?
I hate myself for letting it get this way.
We are better off this way.
Hold the words that were never able to spill from your heart, your head. Your mouth is sewn.
Emotional roller coaster would be an understatement.
A piece will always be yours.
Impactment on lives are over.
Like a lame yearbook quote "stay the same".
Spanish love quotes just don't quite sound the so endearing.
Lies can never be forgiven like they used to.
It's time to get over holding hands.
It's best to let it roll.
It's not goodbye, because they will always have a piece of each others hearts.
It's just a change in what they are used to.
Hello to moving on, I'm ready.
True story// Miles really do conquer.
-VMA April 13, 2008

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